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Body Horror

from Time Enough at Last by Ghost Machines

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lyrics

I don’t need to retrace my steps to know I’ve made progress
so why do I constantly second guess myself
I guess it’s second nature now
I need to break free from this dysphoria
Dysmorphia sets in like rigor mortis
I’m stuck staring at my reflection
A constant collection of flaws arranged for deception — dissected

As I go
back, back and forth, forth
Back, back and forth
Like a magic bullet in a gravel pit
Ricochet away until the shrapnel hits
I used to tell myself
Stop trying to fit in with the misfits
And just exist
Now it’s the same difference
I keep looking over my shoulder
Sara Goldfarb’s red dress rests on the edge of the bedside and sanity

My body is a temple of doom
With trap doors leading to rooms
Full of demons staring at me
Gnawing and pawing at my defeat
Until they get their claws in me
A pound of flesh
For a pound of flesh
I sacrifice my mental health
If no one can love me until I love myself
I’ll die alone full of regrets
I mean...
Someday, I’ll be good enough for myself
And then we can discuss the rest
I’m stuck staring at my reflection
A constant collection of flaws arranged for deception — dissected

My skin is a road map —
massive, torn and jagged
A body bag of big bones rattling ragged
With too much padding added
That I’m working on subtracting
Self reflection feels like
self destruction
With every abstract attack
Becoming more distorted until that
Mirror image feels so foreign
I buzz like Brundle
Who will the stop the monster
that I’ve become?

credits

from Time Enough at Last, released October 1, 2021

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Ghost Machines Kenosha, Wisconsin

Ghost Machines is an alternative hip hop group from Kenosha, Wisconsin. Their music blends many genres including trip hop and jazz with subtle goth and classical overtones.

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